For the First Time
by EvanSol0919
Summary: "After everything that had happened, everything they had endured, they were finally married. So why couldn't Kuchiki Hisana keep these terrible memories at bay? Why couldn't she greet her new husband with a smile?" On her wedding night, Hisana remembers her past, lives in the present, and plans for the future.


First to my readers: I apologize for not writing but some unfortunate things have come up. My little brother was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He had it removed, thankfully without any complications, but this entire ordeal has been exhausting for me and my family.

To those who haven't read my previous work: You don't need to but there are more details in chapter 19, "Past, Present, and Future" of my story _Bound by Blood, Divided by Power_. (Shameless self-promotion!)

WARNING: Part of this is a flashback of when Hisana was human, and it wasn't a pleasant life either. That part is very, very dark in an un-consensual way.

Also, in my story Rukia's original name was Chikako. My theory is that if she was a baby when Hisana abandoned her, then she would have been born with a different name. And Sato was their original last name.

Please enjoy and comment!

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A lone figure sat in an understated but spacious room.

The person was sitting at a beautiful vanity engraved with dragons, phoenixes, and other mythological creatures. A few candles created small pools of light, reflecting shimmering raven locks trapped in an elaborate headdress and ivory skin that contrasted nicely with the elaborate crimson kimono embroidered with cherry blossoms, a simple amethyst necklace matching haunting violet eyes.

_Kuchiki Hisana. _

That was her new name.

The former peasant could hardly believe that this day had come. After all that had happened, she and Byakuya were _finally_ married.

So why wasn't she happy?

Tears trailed down her pastel cheeks, her emotions near the breaking point.

Even staring at her reflection was painful. Who was that looking back at her through the glass? This woman adorned in silks and jewels and where was plain, simple Sato Hisana? Was she beneath the cosmetics? Or was she gone forever?

No, she couldn't be. She had a mission that she needed to accomplish, even if it meant her death.

Guilt overwhelmed her frail body as she thought of her little sister, still trapped in the hell that was Inuzuri while she, the selfish woman who abandoned her own flesh and blood, was now surrounded by luxuries beyond imagination.

Gods, it was her wedding night and she couldn't even bring herself to smile!

And after all that her husband had been through! Going against his beloved grandfather, battling the Kuchiki Clan elders, incurring the wrath of other powerful families, he had done it all for her and all she could do was focus on herself.

She was so unworthy in every respect.

The new bride tried to focus on something else but the only other emotion coursing through her body was fear.

Fear of the marriage bed.

Memories she tried so hard to repress came flooding back, making her want to rip her flesh off to erase _his_ touch…

_(World of the Living)_

_Tiny flakes of white fell from the heavens, covering all that lay on the Earth below. _

_Hisana shivered, her peasant robes not doing a proper job of keeping her warm, but she remained, focusing on the baby in her arms._

_Chikako was officially three months old. Her present was the snow. Her little sister loved it and never seemed bothered by the cold. Instead she would hold out her chubby little hand and trying to catch one of the flakes. When she did, her beautiful violet eyes would widen with joy before realizing it was gone. She would then look up with confusion, almost as if she were asking "Onee-san, where did it go?" _

_It made standing in the freezing air completely worth it._

_Alas, the sky was darkening. "Don't worry, Chikako, you'll see the snow tomorrow."_

_Hisana went back into the hut and began her usual routine – feed Chikako, bathe Chikako, sing to Chikako, and finally put Chikako to bed. It was exhausting but completely worth it._

_A sharp pain struck her heart at the fact that this day was also the three-month anniversary of her mother's death. _

_The eldest daughter missed her mother more than words could ever convey but she had to be strong for her sibling. That was the only thing that mattered. _

_She lit a small fire being very careful with how much wood she used and moved Chikako's small crib closer to the flames. Her father had built it for his unborn child, the one he would never get to see._

_Hisana shook her head lightly. Dwelling on the past would only keep her awake. She went to her bed, which was just a straw mat, and tucked under the blankets to try and get warm._

_Sleep was nearly upon her… when she heard the front door open and shut none too gently. Her breath logged in her throat as she heard the all too familiar heavy, stumbling footsteps make their way through the tiny living room. _

_Her ears strained to hear anything else, perhaps a high-pitched laugh, __anything__ that indicated that he had brought home a… lady of the night. Instead, she heard the footsteps faltering around, the scrapping sound of wood across the floor, and the breaking of glass._

_After what seemed like an eternity, the steps headed for the western side of the shack which was the opposite side of her room._

_Hisana almost gave a sigh of relief… before they stopped and turned around, becoming louder as they drew closer._

_The terrified girl tried to relax her muscles, focusing on keeping her breathing light and steady. Sometimes he would leave if he thought she was sleeping._

_The door ominously slid open as the heavy footsteps made their way toward her bed…_

"_I know you're awake," that horrible, slurred voice said before his hands roughly flung the girl onto her back._

_Violet eyes snapped open as they looked up to see the embodiment of her terror, the stench of cheap alcohol clinging to his skin making her stomach sick. Even in the dim light of the fire, she could see his plain, shaggy brown hair, the cold blue eyes, and the dark complexion of her maternal uncle, Sasaki Tomoya._

_Her petite body began to shake, both from fear and cold, as he undid her thin robes, knowing if she refused or fought back he would throw both of his nieces, his sister's daughters, out into the streets. _

_His cobalt eyes sneered at the bare flesh before him. He never made his contempt for her body a secret, often comparing her to a boy or worse, her mother. _

_There was no end to his depravity._

_After her father died, she and her pregnant mother had been forced to move in with this evil man who had no qualms about abusing his power over them._

_He still had no concern for her petite frame as he thrusted into her again and again._

_Hisana wished she was a snake, able to shed its skin, to start over again. Maybe then she wouldn't feel so filthy, so tainted. _

_A heavy groan echoed through the room, breaking through her thoughts, as she felt his completion. Bile rose through her throat as she prayed to every deity and spirit she could think of that the seed would not take root. _

_At least in that respect they had been merciful._

_Hisana was suddenly flipped onto her stomach as her guardian continued to make use of her._

_She hid her face in her pillow, allowing the tears to flow. The metallic taste of blood filled her mouth as she bit her lip after a particularly painful thrust but she did not make a sound for fear of waking Chikako up._

_This couldn't continue. How long before he tired of her and moved on to her sister? But it was still too cold to leave. As he violated his niece like an animal, Hisana began to plan. Winter would be over in about a month or two. She could survive until then. The sisters would need food and water, plus milk, and some durable traveling clothes. Perhaps she would head south, back to her old village where she was known and loved._

_Yes, she could manage that. Perhaps take small amounts of food and hide it from him. Take out the seams in her old robes to make new ones. And once he was away or in another drunken stupor, they would sneak out._

_And they would never see Sasaki Tomoya again…_

Hisana shuddered at the memory. In the end, she and Chikako had escaped in death.

The new bride knew that he would never harm her in such a way but the mere thought of sharing a bed with anyone was terrifying. He had given her so much and she could not give him the love of a wife.

A gentle weight on her shoulder altered her to another presence.

Too cowardly to look at him directly, Hisana gazed at her new husband through the reflection of the mirror.

Kuchiki Byakuya was as handsome as ever, his long ebony tresses falling to his shoulders with casual elegance, ornate marriage robes still without a crease, slate eyes gazing at his new wife with concern.

"Hisana, are you alright?" the Shinigami asked, already knowing the answer. He knew of her past, all of the heartache she had been through in both life and death.

Indeed her strength to keep moving forward in spite of all the adversity was one of the reasons why he loved her.

"I–I'm fine, Byakuya-sama," she replied in a weak voice.

The Kuchiki heir knelt behind her and began to undue the elaborate hairstyle, removing the golden headdress, gently running his fingers through the silky raven tresses.

A sense of calm overtook Hisana at her husband's touch, relaxation undoing her tight muscles.

Byakuya wasn't quite sure how to continue. Of course he _wanted_ her, he was only a man after all, but her mental wellbeing was far more important than his physical needs.

"It-It's just a lot t-to take in."

Of course it was. Not long ago she had been living in complete poverty in Howling Dog and now she was a noblewoman of the Kuchiki Clan. It would be overwhelming for anyone.

"Do you want me to leave?" the born noble asked in a neutral tone.

Hisana paused for a moment, trying to answer the question in her own mind, before deciding. "No."

"Are you sure?" her husband said doubtfully.

"I'm sure," she said with more certainty. The last of the knots had been undone, leaving her hair in its usual messy state. He slowly moved the locks to the side, kissing the tender flesh of her neck.

Hisana's breath caught in her throat at his softness. This was the feared Soul Reaper? It seemed inconceivable.

"Rest now, Hisana," he said as he rose to his feet, trying to figure out how to not to make this as awkward as possible.

"Wait," her quiet voice called out.

Byakuya turned to see his wife stand up and move towards him, his hands were firmly at his sides, his eyes guarded. Her delicate hands were gently placed on his chest, curling into his robes as his heart sped up from her touch.

"Kiss me… please…" she half-asked, half-begged.

He hesitated for a moment before slowly lowering his head, giving her plenty of time to move. Their lips barely met as Byakuya used all of his considerable self-control to hold back.

Boldly, Hisana locked her arms around his neck, closing the distance between them, his arms instinctively wrapping around her petite waist.

She felt so loved, so protected; there was nowhere in the world that was safer than his embrace.

They broke apart, both man and woman gasping heavily, and he looked deeply into those magnificent violet orbs and saw complete devotion and absolute trust in their depths.

The hesitation in his own slate gaze morphed into desire as his lips claimed hers again, this time with a primal lust that left her breathless and eager for more.

When he broke contact, to her _immense_ disappointment, he studied her flushed, panting form for a moment before picking up his wife up and laying her on the cotton sheets.

He slowly began to untie her obi, pausing a few times to allow her to stop him. She caressed his face in response, assuring him she was alright.

She shivered as her robes were removed, a combination of the cold air, hot passion, and a sliver of fear.

A part of her mind was worried that he would reject her, but his lust filled eyes relieved her of that worry as his hands began to gently roam over her curves.

A high moan escaped the woman's lips as he palmed her breasts, the man's own arousal increasing at her positive responses.

Her husband sat up and began to undue his own robes, throwing them to the side. She marveled at his lean but fit figure, the muscles pushing under his pale skin.

He truly was a god. And he wanted _her_.

Hisana's pallid hand reached up to hesitantly stroke his abdomen and he barely managed to suppress a groan. Byakuya allowed her to continue her explorations but was still worried that he would scare her.

His obvious concern made her heart melt as the lady sat up and kissed him deeply, letting him know that this is what she truly desired.

He softly pushed her back into the sheets, moving in-between her thighs. Her thin arms wrapped around his toned back, dragging him closer.

He entered her as slowly as he possible could, groaning at the tightness and warmth. Hisana moaned at the contact, feeling loved and wanted for the first time in her life.

Byakuya stilled above her, to his body's utter dismay, waiting to see her reaction. His wife smiled before suddenly moving her hips up. He grunted at her bold move before his pelvis began a tender, slow motion, his mind focusing on giving her as much pleasure as possible.

Electricity was shooting down her spine, the scent of cherry blossoms that always clung to his skin taking over her senses. On pure instinct, her legs wrapped around his waist, desperately needing to be closer to her lover. The move prompted Byakuya to move faster, his hands seemingly everywhere at once.

Hisana felt like a queen, goddess, the most beautiful woman in the world as this perfect man continued to make love to her.

The perspiration made them slick as Hisana began to quiver at all the intense feelings overwhelming her body; Byakuya wasn't doing much better.

A high scream left her lips as her vision went white, and she felt his release, a feeling of completeness overtaking her as she gasped for breath.

Byakuya fell onto on his elbows, trying and failing to slow his heart rate as his own frame shook in the aftermath.

Unfortunately, the quiet moment was shattered as the woman began to sob uncontrollably.

"Hisana?" her husband asked, worried that she had been harmed.

"I-I'm ok…" she choked out.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No, no. I-It's just… it's just," she couldn't even finish as she threw arms around him and began crying into his hair.

Byakuya adjusted their bodies so he was lying down and she was on top of him.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm not sad. Really, I'm not. It's… it's…" Hisana tried to explain, feeling terribly guilty at her reaction.

"It's alright. I understand," he replied smoothly, stroking her back, letting her release all her emotions until sleep overtook her.

Byakuya wiped the tears from his wife's cheeks, pulling up the blanket more securely around them. He wasn't at all upset; he couldn't imagine everything that was going through her mind.

Time seemed to stop as he watched her sleeping form, her chest rising and falling, a soft sigh leaving her mouth every so often.

Exhaustion began to overtake his eyes, but he tried to fight it, tried to study her slumbering body for a bit longer.

It had been a long, difficult journey to get to this moment but he would never have it any other way. He would never love another that he knew for certain.

Kuchiki Byakuya finally closed his eyes, knowing there would be plenty of other nights with his wife…

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So that was my take on Byakuya and Hisana's wedding night!

Don't worry. Hisana's uncle is rotting in Hell. I made sure of that! (And so did Byakuya! Second to last section of chapter 25, "Names and Faces"!)

Please remember to comment!

Love from, EvanSol0919!


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